I have been working 25 hours a week since I returned to work after my maternity leave with Sam. It was perfect for me. I still maintained my presence in the office, but I got to be home with Sam. I had the support of my coworkers and family. I will be forever thankful that I had the opportunity to do this.
It wasn't easy and I often felt torn between work and home. Toward the end of my pregnancy with Rae, I started getting a lot of pressure to do more. A lot of that was my own drive to advance my career and some of it was from work.
My maternity leave with Rae started just about when the economy really started to dive around here. It was a blessing because my company didn't have to pay me while I sat around the office being unproductive, but it was also a bit of a curse because they learned to operate without me.
Since I've been back, the pressure seems to have increased, but I also felt disconnected from my core group. There is a lot of pressure to do work on projects, but additional pressure to bring in work on my own, especially if I want to advance. All of this combined with my little boy that wants to be at school 4 days a week and a little girl that is very flexible has made me realize that I could go back 4 days a week. So I am.
As I started asking around about it, I was pleasantly surprised by the reactions. I expected that my immediate supervisor was going to have to think about it or even ask to try it on a trial basis to make sure that I could stay chargeable enough. Nope, she said yes immediately. She thinks it is a great move.
I've also talked to another couple of working moms in the office, especially those with older kids, and found out that they are also back at 4 days a week and find that with the older kids (or very laid back second kid, like Rae is) it is a better balance to be in the office 4 days a week.
Side note here: There is something about the culture of my company that basically expects a new mom to take 4 to 6 months off and come back at 25 hrs. It is a wonderful thing for a new mom that isn't sure what she wants to do, but it is strange because of the expectation that comes along with it. The moms that don't do the 4-6 months + 25 hrs a week, while not frowned upon, are definitely looked at with the "oh I am sorry you can't manage it" face, not thinking that it might be her choice.
I've done a lot of soul searching with this decision. At one point, I thought of just tossing it all in and staying home with the kids full time, but I knew that my sanity wouldn't let that happen. I worry that I am being totally selfish. I worry that Rae will look back at this time and wonder why I didn't give her a full 2 years of being home 2 days a week with me. I worry that if something happens to Rae, I will kick myself for not being home with her. Basically all the mommy guilt I have with working, only magnified. Somewhere along the way, I realized that a) she is very laid back and loves daycare, so I am probably not going to emotionally scar her and b) Sam needs for things to be equal between him and Rae, which means being at school at the same time.
So here we are. I am about to embark on returning to work 4 days a week. I am excited to have an extra 7 hours a week to hopefully relieve some of the pressure and do some of the things I need to move up in the company. Honestly, it just feels right. I am excited to be able to take a real lunch and not work through, scarfing down my food so I can cram 25 hrs into 3 days. I am looking at doing a combination of busing/biking into the office next summer because I can make it work with our schedule. I have no idea how I will manage work, kids, the house, and life, but I know we will make it work.
I also know that for a long time, I won't have more than 32 hours, at least through elementary school, so that I can be home with the kids before and after school. It means I will have to build my career on 32 hours a week and that starts now (well technically Oct 25).
3 comments:
You can do it! You are a fab mom already, and those hours you spend with them are going to be all the more precious. Sounds like this is a great decision for all of you.
I think it's wonderful that your company's expectation is a relatively long maternity leave and 3 days/wk afterwards. If that was normal nationwide, I expect a lot of moms would jump at the opportunity. Having to choose all or nothing is tough and a lot of people can't financially choose to quit completely.
Now that you're coming up on a year since the switch, how has it gone?
I think it was one of the best decisions I made. I am no longer worried about fitting everything in. I can add a couple of hours by working through lunch and not having to add another day to my work week. I have never struggled to find 32 hours of work to fill my time. I also can't imagine trying to go back to just 25 hours a week, so as other moms in the office have asked me, I've been very truthful about that.
I am about to switch to 5 days a week, but still 32 hours. Sam is starting his last year before public school and we feel that he really needs to get used to the 5 days a week schedule. Rachel loves the new daycare and was upset when I kept just her home last Friday, so she'll go 5 days a week, too.
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